Toil Upward

Trophy Room of Failures

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I have an old red climbing backpack with the names of several mountains written on it in permanent marker. They’re the names of mountains I climbed. Conquests.

I remember writing them on there after each climb, feeling proud of my new ink trophy.

I don’t know who those trophies were for. Were they for me? I already knew which mountains I’d climbed without writing it down. Were they for my climbing partners? Did I want to seem cool and experienced and impressive? Were they for strangers?

I don’t write the mountains I’ve climbed anymore. I haven’t for a long time. I don’t really celebrate my “conquests” or talk about them.

The rewards I get from the mountains I climb can’t be seen or shared. The rewards are the memories I have, the scenery, the lessons I occasionally and stubbornly learn, the scars and the pride I walk away with. They show up as a little smile here or there, usually just for me, and nowhere else.

I did almost write something on that pack recently. A year ago, I tried to climb a mountain I’d wanted to climb for years. I didn’t make it to the top.  I actually failed at it more than once.

I learned something each time I failed. Those failures got me thinking. I don’t always learn from my successes, but I always learn from failure. I decided that if I wrote anything on my pack, it would be the mountains that beat me, the times I quit, the lessons I failed to learn.

I think about that mountain every single day. Today, I went for a hard training run, so that if I decide to write the names of my failures, I can someday cross them off.

 

Motivation & Momentum Come From Action

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I’ve had “writer’s block” for a week or so. Or five.

Tonight I’ve written for an hour so far. Probably two by the time I finish.

Edit: Make that 2 and a half so far.

What changed? I started. Seriously, it’s that simple.

Why the fuck do I keep having to learn this lesson?

The War of Art is all about this.

About “Resistance” … the thing that keeps you from starting.

Procrastination. “Maybe I should just do X instead…”

Distraction. No! Fuck, just focus. Sit down and start. It’s that simple.

Waiting for inspiration. NO NO NO NO NO! That’s not how it works. You get inspired when you start. Or, for me, sometimes when I go for a long walk outside somewhere beautiful. But it never happens when I’m reading the news or checking Twitter.

Motivation and Momentum come from taking action.

Years ago, I was training for a big climb, and I had to go for these long runs a few times a week. I hated it. I would put it off, feel like shit about how I was putting it off, and then, eventually, maybe, I’d remember the trick.

I’d stop thinking about the run, stop thinking about all those miles and how hard they would be. I’d just focus on the one goal I knew would make all the difference: put on the shoes, open the door, walk through it, close it.

Done.

If I could get that far, there was no stopping. I never once turned back around and went inside without going on my run. Literally every single time, the trick worked. And I’d feel proud and happy that I did the hard thing.

This works with other things too. With writing. I haven’t really written much lately. I’ve been feeling bad about it. Tonight though, I logged into this website, clicked the New Post button, and started typing. This is the third piece I’ve finished today.

I’ve written almost the same exact thing before. Why am I such a slow learner? It’s not complicated.

Just start. Take action as quickly as possible. It may not be pretty, but it’ll get the job done.

Public Accountability?

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I keep a daily log of my workouts and diet in Evernote.

The diet portion isn’t very specific, I basically just make a note of whether I eat clean or not. My diet is ok right now, so I’m not worried about tracking it too closely.

My fitness is something I am focused on improving. So, I keep track of what workouts I do each day. Everything down to weights and reps and sets.

Physical therapy is so fucking boring. I hate it. But I’ve been consistent about doing it every day. I keep track with coach.me.

What’s the point of all this?

I have all kinds of tracking systems, in different apps, for different areas of my life.

Maybe it’s weird for me to track any of this stuff. But I find that if I don’t keep track, I’m more likely to fall off and be undisciplined.

I’ve noticed when I do a public experiment over at the Monthly Experiments Project, I’m much more likely to be disciplined every day. I think the idea of being publicly accountable to my readers motivates me to be even more disciplined.

I was thinking about posting my daily logs here instead of just in Evernote. Although that seems like a chore that is more trouble than it’s worth.

Ok, time to go work out.

It Only Takes 1%

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The worst traps are the ones you don’t even see. You stumble into them blindly and fall, to your own detriment.

There are mental traps, too. Beliefs that harm you and hold you back because you can’t see another way. You can’t see the right way.

“Toil Upward?”

“Fine. Sign me up. I’m willing to work. Show me how.”

El Capitan

The name of this blog was inspired by a poem I found after failing to climb a (literal) mountain.

“The heights by great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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